Walking in Shadow
by Za Metallium
Summary: Zel versus the shadows...or is that himself...?


Walking in Shadow

**Walking in Shadow**   
by [Za Metallium][1]

  


It seemed to Zelgadiss that no matter where he stepped as he trekked through the woods with Lina and the others that he stepped in shadows. It was almost as if some veil of darkness conspired to keep him seperate, alone. 

A sense of vertigo swept over him and the darkness rose around him, groping him, pulling him away from Lina. 

"Zel!" Lina turned, her smile as lovely and bright and fiery and untouchably distant as the sun. "Why are you hanging around back there?" 

Having no real answer to give her, he shrugged. 

"Well, come on!" 

He wanted to join her, a familar feeling, but the darkness rose up again and he could not move. 

Lina trotted over to where he was rooted to the ground by sticky shadow. She grasped his arm, the lovely warmth radiating from her hand and the light shining from her eyes pushing back the darkness. "What's wrong?" 

He couldn't very well tell her that the shadows conspired against him. She'd think him insane for sure, although, in all fairness, he might very well be out of his mind. He shook his head slightly. 

Lina cocked her head to the side and regarded him. Zel decided he was learning first-hand from whence came the cliché of a "gaze that pierces one's soul." 

"Lina-san! Zelgadiss-san!" Amelia called from some ways ahead, where she, Gourry, and Shilfiel had paused. "Aren't you coming?" 

'Of course,' Zel wanted to say but somehow couldn't. 

"You three go on ahead to town. We'll meet you at the inn later," Lina yelled back. Why...? 

"Why?" Gourry echoed Zel's question aloud. 

"Because," Lina returned tersly. "Now get going." 

The others wisely obeyed Lina; Zel saw that "do-it-or-I'll-Dragu-Slave-you-to-the-next-town" look in her eyes. 

Just as the others disappeared into the forest, Lina plopped down unceremoniously, dragging him with her. Somehow she'd managed to situate them right in a ray of sunlight. "So," she began, "what's wrong? And don't you _dare_ say nothing. I saw that weird look on your face earlier." 

"Weird look?" 

"Yeah. You looked...I dunno, spooked or something." 

Spooked. That wasn't far off, actually. "Oh." 

"Well?" Lina demanded again. "What _is_ it?" 

Zel's mind raced. He couldn't tell her what spooked him. He also couldn't lie to her. That left being evasive. "I'm having a bad day." 

Lina regarded him skeptically. "Uh-huh. No _way_ you're getting off the hook with _that_ lame answer." 

Damn. He glaced about him nervously, his gaze darting from the still-sinister shadows to the pool of sunlight in which he and Lina sat. 

"Why is it a bad day?" she prodded more gently after several moments of silence. 

"Have you...have you ever felt as if the darkness around you was trying to...to claim you?" he asked quietly, staring at a very interesting blade of grass near his hand. 

"You mean...like it wants to get payment for all the times you've used it?" 

Zel looked at Lina, surprised. That hadn't been what he'd meant, but... "Not exactly," he finally said, returning his attention to the foliage beside him. "But something like that." 

Lina nodded once, then rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Why do you ask?" 

Zel absently toyed with the grass beside him, trying to figure out what to say without sounding even more insane that he already had. "Most of the time," he found himself saying, "I feel like I'm trapped in this body, unable to truly touch anything but the shadows, the ghosts of things." Grand, just grand. Now he not only sounded crazy, he sounded pathetic as well. 

"'On the outside looking in'?" Lina quoted the ancient phrase. 

"Exactly," Zel confirmed softly, then plucked a blade of grass and stared at it. 

"What does that have to do with the darkness you mentioned earlier?" Something in Lina's tone made gave him pause; it sounded as if she already knew the answer and simply wanted confirmation. 

"Well..." he hedged, tearing the piece of grass he held into tiny pieces, "it...I..." 

"The only thing you can really touch is shadows, and now they're touching you back?" 

Zel looked up sharply, eyes wide. How had she known that? "That's it exactly," he finally mananged. 

Lina nodded sagely. "You want to know how I guessed that, ne?" 

"Yes." 

"You know, Zel," she said, looking at him askance, "you're not the only one who feels like an outsider." 

The idea of Lina being an outsider seemed so foreign that it took Zel a full minute to process the concept. Even then, all he got out was, "You. . . ?" 

"Never would've guessed, ne? It doesn't really bother me most of the time. But I don't suppose _any_one who can cast spells that would kill any other mage can feel like a part of the masses...someone _normal_...not that I really want to be. I like being special." 

Zel watched her unblinkingly for several long moments. Then he watched her some more. Then, "But...how did you know about the shadows?" 

"Because I deal with black magic most of the time," she replied, her tone more than implying that he should have already guessed this. "Black magic...destruction...darkness...get it?" 

He nodded, dumbstruck. 

"Great," she said brightly, hopping up. "Let's catch up to the others, then." She offered him a hand up, smiling at him. 

He took her hand, though he was careful to get up using his own strength so that he wouldn't hurt her. "Thank you, Lina." 

"Just remember, Zel: you're not alone." She wrapped her arms around one of his. They headed off in the direction of town, Lina smiling brightly and Zel smiling a bit himself. 

The shadows left them be.   


–end–

   [1]: mailto:ZaMetallium@aol.com



End file.
